Where Did It All Go So Horribly Wrong?

This is my first proper blog post, and I'm using it to vent my spleen at myself more than anything.

I've been told that airing your frustrations out in a blog is perfectly alright, and not an act of overexposure. Sort of like chicks displaying bra straps, I guess. A little indication that regardless of one's persona or image, underneath it all is a normal person with normal needs and emotions. Like I said, bra straps.

And I think this is a pretty safe avenue anyways, for I know nobody even know this blog exists. Except of course for that fellow I spend most days shooting the breeze with, and he's a goodfella. You know, like in the Ray Liotta movie "He's a goodfella, he's alright." And mate, I mean that with all sincerity.

Anyhoo, to the matter at hand. I've been in Melbourne for a semester and a half, and I pretty much fucked up the first one. I'm 6 weeks into the second one, and it's not going much better. I've tried to improve by making changes, but it evidently isn't enough. It's too easy to stop studying and allow a study session to turn into another round of machine-gunning the bull.

Mostly my studies are fucked up because I've been trying so hard to get involved in more stuff than just books. But trying to juggle anything more than studies seems beyond the capabilities of your humble narrator. And at the end, I've got nothing to show for it than consistently falling grades, my brothers. Evidently, I'm better of all on my oddy-knocky. My social skills are still about as bad as they were before (think Rajesh Kutrapalli of the Big Bang Theory).

Seriously, fuck everything else. I give up trying to pretend that my studies are not the most important thing to me. Sure, having a good time and getting a bit of the old in-out-in-out would be fun, but there's no point in pursuing it if you're as chronically incapable of it as I am.

And ending up at the bar every time is no fun. Alcohol's a cheap way out of the problem, but it's still a damned expensive one. Fuck everything else, I'm gonna get back to my old self. And damn anyone who doesn't get it. Most people have options, I don't. Either drive hard or don't begin at all.

The post is getting too long, I think, and the proper thing to do now is to end with a quote, so here's one from Eric Clapton's Rock and Roll Heart:
" I guess there's nothing left for me to explain;
Here's what you're getting and I don't wanna change;
I get off on '57 Chevvies;
I get off on screaming guitars;
I like the way it gets me, everytime it hits me;
I've got a rock and roll, I've got a rock and roll heart"

I'm doing what I like, and to hell with anyone who doesn't get it.